Let The Bells Ring Out...

I normally love Christmas, but this year I'm a bit worried. We're having gammon rather than turkey. Supposing my wife doesn't like my present? Supposing I've forgotten somebody's Christmas card? Can I drag myself to mass on Christmas Eve? Christmas morning?
I don't know why I feel so pessimistic. Good things keep happening to me- I won £200 odd on the horses the other day- yet I feel anxious.
I had a few days leave last week, ostensibly to do the Christmas shopping, although that doesn't take long these days. One of the benefits of being disowned by your mother. We hardly have any Christmas decorations, so they didn't take long. It felt good to rest, and I even wrote some bits and pieces.
I bought myself a brand new Filofax- a proper one. This year, I'm determined to make use of it. I've been using book diaries for the last couple of years, but when I bought the last one (I've been getting the mid-year ones) I couldn't bring myself to transfer the addresses and phone numbers of the same old friends and relatives for another year, and so I ended up lugging the previous diary with me everywhere, as an address book. Of course, there's probably a way to do all that now on your laptop or mobile phone, but I'm a paper and ink man at heart, a luddite.
I've been making notes for a novel. Of course, by the time I post again, I might have packed it in, but it's been a whole week, now, and the project keeps growing. Ideas about characters, ideas for plots, subplots. I have this daydream of taking into my next writers' class, not a story, not a novel, but the synopsis for a novel, and asking the class to imagine that they are, not readers but publishers. And I'd like to think I'll make use of all those books about creative writing I've bought.
Have a great Christmas

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